hey, ting is here to post!!!(:

i just wanna share something that i have learnt about strength.

the past month has been a hectic one for me, and i broke down many times and cried myself to sleep a couple of nights. its nothing serious really, its mainly many little things that become one big chunk of a burden. haha if you know what i mean. there were lots of obligations that had to fulfill and duties to carry out that i couldnt carry it upon my shoulders. i thought that strength was being able to carry every single thing by yourself, holding up the whole burden by yourself without anyone's help. i thought that strength was not letting people see your weaknesses, and being 'okay' when you really arent 'okay'. so for the first few weeks, i held everything myself. i told myself its okay. i can do it. i dont need anyone;s help but my own. and the load got heavier and heavier and heavier.. i was tired and exhausted. cried, but made sure no one knew, made sure i did not let any weakness slip out anywhere.

it got to a point that there were just too many things on my mind. i remember that saturday, altar call didnt really super apply to me, but i went up anyway. i had to. i needed to. i just knelt there. someone prayed for me, someone who didnt know me personally or even by name. she said that God was telling her i wanted to give up, to throw in the towel and if someone put a pail of water in front of me, i wouldnt see myself because i have lost myself, become unsure of who i am anymore. but God knows me as His daughter and He will bring me back to a point of knowing myself and seeing myself clearly in that water. at that point, i just broke down completely. i couldnt stop. everything, frustration, anger, worthlessness, just flowed out in tears. it was as if everything i felt and the confusion within just began to flow out in words, through someone else' mouth into my ears. i began to understand that i had to let go and stop carrying everything by myself.

i thought strength was holding up everything myself. i was wrong. i thought strength was not letting people see your weaknesses. i was wrong. i have learnt that strength is not about holding the load of burdens on my own, but strength is taking that courage to let someone else carry your burdens along with you. i dont mean you go round telling the whole world your problems, but just maybe someone you trust, to have someone to account to and someone to turn to when you need help. thats the first step of strength. the second though, is the actual facing ur problems once again. its finding that attitude that will help you to overcome your situations because you know that you have a strong Father up there helping you along. strength is not from ourselves, but strength is from Him above. whenever you feel tired or weary, always say a word of prayer and ask God for strength. its amazing, cos He really will provide you with it. i really felt rejuvenated and refreshed, and kept telling myself 'ting can be strong and will be strong.' and you know, if ur strength is from God and not urself, it will withstand all ur circumstances(:

i hope what i've said made sense. im not very good with words, but i hope you catch my message!(:

find your strength in Him today.

"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

- isaiah 40:31